Breaking the Hustle Cycle with Rachel Crawford
ABOUT THE EPISODE
I’ve admired today’s guest, Rachel Crawford, for a long time. She is an expert in finding ways to really embrace her different interests - she works in interior design and is also a mystic, reiki master, and tarot reader. In our conversation today, we’re talking about Rachel’s experience with the need to slow down in order to be more present in the areas of her life that really matter. I think finding this balance is one that everyone, especially mothers and entrepreneurs, can relate to. Tune in and enjoy.
TOPICS DISCUSSED
Breaking the cycle of hustle to become more present with what matters most in your life
How Rachel has brought her sons into the work she does with her business
Struggling with making time for yourself that does not feel like work
Why it’s important to create solo, intentional time with your partner
What to expect from different seasons and moon phases
Rachel’s solicited motherhood advice and why you need to follow your intuition
RESOURCES MENTIONED
THIS WEEK’S WRITING PROMPT
What does intentional rest look like for you? Describe your perfect 24 hours of rest and how you would feel at the end. What would 30 minutes of intentional rest look like?
ABOUT RACHEL
RACHEL CRAWFORD is a Creatrix of Sacred Space through holistic interior design, ritual, and ceremony. She is committed to empowering others by teaching modalities that support connection to intuition, she hosts workshops and retreats focused on the ancient practices of Feng Shui, Tarot, crystals, herbs and oils, ritual and ceremony, astrology, and metaphysics — in addition, to live and virtual new moon and full moon circles. She currently lives in Encinitas, CA with her two boys Quinn (10) and X (9), and a supportive life partner of 22 years Tyson.
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Jackie Leonard 00:06
Hi, Rachel, welcome to the podcast.
Rachel Crawford 00:08
Hi, thanks for having me. I'm super excited. It's been a little while since we got to see each other and connect again.
Jackie Leonard 00:14
Yeah, and I, I'm really looking forward to talking to you about Mom Stuff. Because I feel like you have so many wonderful things that you do that I focus mostly on those things and talking about how you are your mom life is going to be a new thing for me. So yeah,
Rachel Crawford 00:31
yeah, I think that's a part of me that I haven't shared a lot of, and I think even just speaking with people sometimes don't even know I'm a mom, because I'm so kind of in these, you know, different worlds.
Jackie Leonard 00:43
Yeah. So can you first share a little bit about yourself to those listening?
Rachel Crawford 00:48
Yeah, so, um, I am a mom of two boys that are 10, to nine. And for work, and I've also been my life partner for 22 years. So we've got a lot of history there growing up together, and then, you know, creating this family and then also working on our careers. And I like to call myself a creator of sacred space, I do this through holistic interior design, with ritual ceremony, my whole moon circles, and gatherings, workshops, and that kind of thing to empower others through intuition.
Jackie Leonard 01:26
Great, and I think that'll weave in, throughout your story today. And what you're going to talk about is something that I think a lot of people will relate to, but is regarding the biggest hurdle that you've overcome, as actually recently as a mom, and then also what you've learned from that.
Rachel Crawford 01:46
Yeah, so there's been many hurdles, but this one in particular is one that's, you know, the most present at the moment. And, you know, I'm, I'm in the world of interior design, but also, you know, holding space for other people. And I've been doing interior design for 616 to 20 years, to account school and all that, but, but I've always been, like, go go go, you know, wanting to create these sacred spaces for people to tap into their intuition to tap back into Mother Earth to tap back into the phases of the moon to reconnect ourselves. And I've been doing this for a few years, and there was a trip that was on a work trip, the beginning of or the end of August, and my husband was getting our house ready to be rented out. And I had to, like, skip town and go to Napa, and you know, like, have fun, and he's working his ass off trying to get the space put together. And, and then I'm also like, creating, you know, these memberships and speakers and bringing on you know, just creating ritual and, and thing after thing, you know, weekly, and I've just been like, go go go and get get get and that like this, just and then I realized, you know, after talking to him, he was pretty upset that I wasn't very present. And I realized, I'm not present, like, I'm not present with my family. I Like even when we're together, I'm on my laptop. And I'm like, emailing people, or I'm creating flyers, or I'm trying to figure out the next thing, like, and I just, and I'm sitting there, and then I realize, you know, and then I'm just like, like playing like all the back. Stories of like, my family going off to the beach, like me being at home, and like, just working and like, and that's like, for what it's like, it's not even like my every day thing. And, and, and like even when I'm just sitting there watching something with my family, it's like I'm, you know, my brains going or I want to read or I want to do this or that. And so I just realized, like, how addicted I am, to that hustle, and it took me you know, some years to face it with my husband and like, come down and just be like, holy shit, like, I have been, like, tapped out and kind of let everything let him like take care of everything. Even like the kids. I mean, I you know, I have my my things where I love to take them to school, but he's like making meals, he's doing laundry. He's like, he's keeping everything together so that I can like see this addiction of connection with people and and then I remember one of the circles I had and I didn't realize that my oldest was outside like peeking in. And then afterward, he said, What do you do down there? And I was like, oh, you know, we set our intentions of law, you know, I explained he's like, Oh, that's really cool. And I was like, Do you want to do that? And I had no idea that I should be like, doing these practices with my kids, you know, like, how to empower them versus like reaching outside of myself and it was just like, Oh my God, I am just I just felt like the worst, you know, just like always reaching outside of myself. Always, it just it was just it was just hard crushing to know that I wasn't, you know, present. And then this whole time I've been, you know, we've created this life that we live in, we live in, like this beautiful city in this gorgeous house, and we're like down the street from the beach. And then I'm like, on my computer, it's like, holy shit, like, what am I doing? It was just so I'm still kind of, in this space of like, pulling back from my membership, trying to figure out what's gonna work for them, what's gonna work for me? How can I, you know, be better in both spaces and not spreading myself so thin. And, you know, I had to reach out to my members and my bro that Saturday, Sunday morning, and just like breaking down and telling them that I couldn't keep it up, I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. And that and it takes some time. And, you know, I would understand if they had to go and this wasn't what they expected. And so there's a huge thing and all the members were super supportive, and just so lovely, and just, you know, all about, you know, me taking time to take care of myself. So it was just a really cool way to share all that even though it's not something I wanted to do. I just felt like a failure, you know, and I was just like, Oh, my God, like, everything's just crumbling. And how do I put this back? And, and what work do I do? That's, that's really meaningful. And so that's what I'm figuring out right now. It's like, how do I keep doing what I'm doing, but doing it in a way that is sustainable?
Jackie Leonard 06:31
And since so, I mean, so much of this is relatable. And I think, especially as the year comes to an end, I'm hearing a lot of common threads about this, like, not enoughness, or like, feeling like I have to do so much. And I I've heard different reasons for why that is. But I'm curious before that, like, what, as you've made that decision, like, Okay, I'm doing too much I need to slow down, you're you told people like I need to scale back for my family. How has that transition, the slowdown been for you? Recently hard.
Rachel Crawford 07:06
Like, I can't, I can't slow down. I'm recently like, coming off of I'm like, coming off of a cold and like I've had to like literally had to like rest, like my body could not do anything. But it's so hard, because I would be like, Okay, I'm not going to do anything. And then like I said, I was like sitting there like trying to be present, like in a movie with my family. And I've got a book in my hand. And I was like, Are you reading a book are you like doing that, like what is happening and, and I would get up and like fold clothes. And I you know, I'm like constantly shifting and moving. And it's like, I can't like just to be present, it's extremely hard. So I've been doing a practice of going down to the beach every morning. And just sitting there and receiving what the ocean has, for me connecting with the sand connecting with the dark pool, you know, doing my card polls that I do, which I haven't done in a few days, but so like literally trying to make myself do certain things and then taking my morning walks, that's another way that I get. I get grounded, but it's it's so hard. Like I have to consciously be aware, when I start to go into the world of trying to do and I'm constantly like coming up with frickin like workshop ideas and like I wanted and my husband's like, you need to just just pause for a minute. So like, I'll write down all these ideas, and then wait for them to kind of dissipate and wait for the the the need to like manifest them to kind of go away and so that I can be present again, because it will just take me off into like never Neverland and I'll just I'll build it. And it's it's it's nuts.
Jackie Leonard 08:43
Yeah. I mean, this is like you're speaking to the choir totally with me. I mean, I'll sit down and be like, I'm literally doing nothing. And my brain is just like firing off. So I'm like, you know, to be able to bring yourself back. And I was thinking about, like, what we what we do with kids, right? Like, you would never tell a toddler like, Okay, you have to sit down for an hour and like not move, right? Yeah. And so I like was thinking about how like, going to the beach and being like, for five minutes. I'm just going to try it. I just, you know, take it in and be present and see how that goes. And like it. I imagine, again, this is like, you know, easier said than done. But like I imagine it's like we have to build up a tolerance of it. Especially after going through like such a grind of trying to do so much. Yeah, it's not something that happens easily.
Rachel Crawford 09:28
No, it's like I'm trying to rebuild all these habits. I'm just trying to rebuild habits that are changing and that slow down. And my motto has been Slow the fuck down. Like that's just like, that's just what comes into mind. I slowed down and it's like, okay, like taking a minute and just putting that in my head and that that's just been like my thing to help me kind of get present or be present now. It's like trying to put in these little cues and things to help me just stay grounded.
Jackie Leonard 09:57
Yeah, yeah. And you have I've found so far that the ocean has helped you, right?
Rachel Crawford 10:04
Yeah, that's been huge. Just just just the fact that like, this is where I live now. And this is what I created. And this is what we wanted. And now I need to like really sit and receive, like, I've done the hustle. I've done the work I need to receive.
Jackie Leonard 10:19
Yeah, it sounds like, you know, it's funny, because tomorrow's Thanksgiving. And so it's like to think about, it's like a season where we really focus on gratitude. It sounds like a practice of gratitude is like, No, this is where I am, I've worked so hard to get where I am, and I should be enjoying it. Instead of feeling like I need to continue to build on that. And that can be really hard. Especially if, you know, if you're somebody who has their own business and is very self driven, to kind of feel like there's a place where you can stop and just take it all in. Yeah, really hard. Yeah. And they
Rachel Crawford 10:58
just try to present with the kids and like, you know, still be in a space where they want to cuddle with me and hug me and you know, don't mind my company, because I know that pretty soon, it's just gonna shift so dramatically.
Jackie Leonard 11:11
Yeah. Did you have you sent your your son asked about the circle that you were doing? Have you like, shot him anything? Or kind of brought him in?
Rachel Crawford 11:19
Yeah, I mean, we do. And we do a nightly ritual where we pull cards, so we'll have a little talk before we go to bed, and then we'll pull a card. And then you know, all the time, it's so funny, because it's like, every card he pulls, it's so relatable to what we just spoke about. So it's really cool to see them connect and understand. And yeah, we'll set some intentions, you know, at the New Moon of what do we want to accomplish this the cycle? Or what do we want to have happen? Or, you know, So little things like that, and we play with the same bowls, and we have a little fairy garden as well in our yard. So we're always like giving little trinkets and gratitudes there. So there's, there's magic, you know, woven into our, our lives. So it's, it's been a space for me to kind of reinvent some things or bring some things to light or, you know, we have our little, our little things that we get to do. So it's very magical.
Jackie Leonard 12:16
Yeah, well, I mean, that in itself sounds like I mean, I, when you're doing those activities, do you feel like you are present with with them?
Rachel Crawford 12:24
Oh, yeah. That's like, okay, yes. And then same thing, like when we do car, when we go to school in the morning, we do like mini Tarot lessons. So we learn about the elements, and we learn about their correspondences and the different cards and so it's fine, cuz they're just like many things, and like, the drives to school are special to me. So. But yeah, when I'm with them now, it's like, I feel so much more present, like, I don't have, you know, all those things around me. So I try to be right there instead of, you know, in a million different places.
Jackie Leonard 12:55
Totally. Because it's something that I've been trying to learn as a mom of younger kids is some of the play that they engage in, I'm just like, not like, I'm kind of, kind of boring, like, I'm not really into it. Like, I can only do this so long. Yeah. And I'm learning that as I, if I can introduce them to things that like I like, or try to find ways to learn something new with them, I am able to engage a lot more so like, you know, we live my son, we cook, and we bake. And so like, I like to do that. So it's like something that I feel like we're bonding. And I'm not like, clearly checked out while I'm doing it. And so I I feel like that is like a key to enjoying parenting for those who aren't just naturally just really, I mean, I'm speaking for myself here, but I'm just not like not naturally somebody that will like sit down and play with toys with a kid for too long. You know, that's been really helpful for me because even especially my son who's like a very much he loves, like his cars and things like that. And it's cute, but I'm just like, okay, I can only do this. Yeah, yeah, um, I was thinking about as you were talking about, like, the rituals and stuff that you do with your kids and, and all that how, what I've found for myself, and I'm wondering if this is the same for you is when you when you have free time, quote, unquote, free time, you're thinking like, I need to spend this with my kids and my family. And then when you have your time to yourself, it's like I'm doing my work. And in this period of slow down, have you made time for also just like time for yourself? That is not work?
Rachel Crawford 14:39
Ooh, that's a good question. Now. The only time that I've made for me is my morning at the beach. And even then, it's not me kind of. Yeah. Um, yeah, that's really hard for me to do that. I just, ha Yeah, I think it's the area of not being enough or not deserving Um, like, I should be doing this, I should be doing that, you know, it's, uh, should, should should on myself and not giving my I just feel guilty. And that's the other thing too, like, I live with a ton of guilt of like, taking time to myself, like, even in the morning when I'm going down to the beach I feel somewhat guilty for, you know, not being at home, getting the kids ready, but then the way I justify is like, I'm doing it when like, nobody else is awake. And like, you know, I have to, like justify these like, like, why do I need to justify? I don't know, that's just like an issue that I
Jackie Leonard 15:31
struggle with. Yeah, I mean, I, I think that the thing I could say to that is just I know that that's so many people. So many moms feel that way. And what I've noticed is, especially when you're doing something that you enjoy for work, it's like, oh, but I like this, this is fun, I have these ideas. I'm going to put this together and then you'll sit down and realize, like, I have not, you know, done something just for pleasure. And however long and and I it's it's work. I think that's what I really appreciated about what you said earlier when I said like, Oh, how's it going? You decided to slow down? I think we see like, stories of like, yeah, I realized I was working so hard. And then I stopped and the world got better. And it's it's not that easy. It's like, oh, no, it's really hard to
Rachel Crawford 16:19
Yeah, but I will say this, the one thing that I do and have been enjoying and it has been for pleasure is my husband and I do date nights all the time. So I would say that that is my pleasure, like him and I like we just have fun. We just like we like going out, we do our thing. You know, we have fun. Like that's, I guess that would be like a space but but I mean, I know it's not just me by myself, but that's like, that's our play, you know, very playful.
Jackie Leonard 16:48
That was one of the things I was gonna ask next was like, you know, it's like, if there is that, you know, that are you like finding time with your partner as well, because I think, you know, time with other adults time with, you know, the person who you're involved with, like to be able to set take that time for yourself and, and be present. And not be like thinking about work and not be semi there is important. And I have seen on you know, your social media you share like different things, you guys go out and do. And I'm like, Oh, that looks so cool and fun. So it does look like you guys, when you're together are able to kind of go out and go to nice dinners or go out to an event and, and those are important. So that will speed you in a special way too.
Rachel Crawford 17:34
Yeah, for sure. That just I just think it just brings us back to like our playfulness, and you know, just how we are as as a couple, you know, without kids, um, so that we can reconnect, you know, and I think those have been those have been huge like, not that I don't love playing and having fun with the boys. But it's like, having our time is like a really critical, critical piece.
Jackie Leonard 17:58
Sure. Yeah, it's something that I think we were longing for. Less than I actually got the younger ones. And so we're at like that point where it's like, when we're both here, it's like, one takes one one takes the other and it's like, see you at that time. And then it's like, We're exhausted. So yeah, it's, but we're working on it. Because it's like there cannot there's always reasons for why you can't do something, right. And I think that you, with the business that you build with the membership you are doing, it's like you can easily be like, Well, I just I can't do this right now I have to focus on this and to have to admit to people like I need to scale back is hard. And and not easy. But like you said it's opened up opportunities for you to do more date nights and push even when it's uncomfortable to go, you know, to the beach, like you said in the morning and do things and feel like you're not supposed to be doing this with your time you still do it and I think that's something that we have to re like reevaluate throughout our lives. It's not like a one time thing but I really appreciate you speaking to this especially at the end of the year when for some people also like social commitments become the grind right? Oh, you're you know, running around and doing all that you know, is also very leads to a lot of burnout. So I think in that same way people can apply what you were talking about to doing too much you know,
Rachel Crawford 19:30
yeah, just like really tapping into the fact of like, Is this really what I want to do like do I like even if it's a social events like what am I getting out of this? Like how is this gonna benefit me as a person or you know, like, just as am I gonna feel good after this like who am I hanging out with like, What is this for like? You know, I totally conscious our time is so finite and we only have so much
Jackie Leonard 19:54
yeah, I don't know if this is putting you on the spot too much. But I know with your membership you Um, do a lot of the moon phases and you talk about, you know, the charts and all that stuff. And you do a lot of tarot readings. And I'm curious about, you know, in this season that we're going in toward the end of the year, can you say any speak to kind of what phase we're in? Or, you know, what? Yeah,
Rachel Crawford 20:18
I mean, it's funny that we're talking about this because we are at we're in, we're in autumn, right, so this is the time to slow down the preparation before we go into winter. So winter is always going to be the time of going within following nature, you know, people or animals are going into hibernation, the leaves are falling, this is the time for release. Things are, you know, closing up, the sun's going away. So just really reflecting on on the external coming into our spaces now. And then the other thing is right now the moon is waning. So that means that the moon is getting smaller. So again, it's time for release time to slow down time to start going within. So this is just the time of the year where things and it's funny, because there's right now all these holidays, and everyone's like, social and, and I remember just like, as we shifted from the equinox, you know, with the sun going down a lot sooner, like my body is just like, as soon as that it's dark, like I'm ready for bed. So it's like you have to force myself to like, get out there and do stuff. So let's just about, you know, balancing or mirroring what Mother Nature Mother Earth is, is showing us that this is the time and also to nurture ourselves to you know, be making these meals that are grounding and comforting and like holding space for all of that.
Jackie Leonard 21:41
Yeah. Do I know I like I said, I've seen that you and your, your partner go out and do nice dinners and stuff like that to enjoy it. You guys enjoy making nice meals at home.
Rachel Crawford 21:53
My husband's a cook. I like I don't like at all.
Jackie Leonard 21:57
Let's like, let's like your favorite thing that he cooks that?
Rachel Crawford 22:01
Oh my god, he makes the best brussel sprouts. Like, yeah, there, they are the best. So we'll go out and we'll get brussel sprouts. I'm always like, oh my god, like, why did we get this like it doesn't compare or same thing with like, his breakfast is are amazing. And it's like, we don't even go to brunch anymore. I'm like, it doesn't like we could like he can do this at home. So but yeah, he's great. And, and we have fun. And he's he's a foodie. And he's into all the things and we you know, like, all the wine and all these other things. So we're always experimenting and trying different things. And his company is in the food business. So we get like shipments of like new food or things in the mail all the time for for work. So it's been fun to like, experiment and try different things.
Jackie Leonard 22:44
Okay, yeah, as a foodie that like when you brought up, like, you know, eating well, for the time of year, I was like, Ooh, and you know, Brussels sprouts sound good. That sounds tasty. But
Rachel Crawford 22:55
I do want to experiment with soups and things. I think I've played a little bit I've dabbled a little bit of that. And I think that's, that's intriguing to me being a little witchy. And I'm super, like,
Jackie Leonard 23:06
I always feel a little itchy. When I make soups. I've been having a lot of fun with making soups and broths and stuff. And it always feels like you know, push any
Rachel Crawford 23:15
it is. And speaking of potions, that's another thing that I do with the boys as we make, you know, potions to for sleepy time, like we spray our little potions of lavender and Bedivere or whatever, and they make their own little bottles. And it's cool. Very cool. Yeah.
Jackie Leonard 23:32
Well, I like I said, I think this is such a great conversation to have. At the end of the year, I believe your episode will end toward the end of the year. And even in the new year, it's like we're at a stage in the year when we're evaluating you know what we're doing with our time and so relatable. So thank you for sharing. To wrap up, I have a couple of questions for you that you've prepared your answers. The first is do you have some solicited mom advice that you could share with the rest of us?
Rachel Crawford 24:07
Yeah, for me, it's all about following your intuition. It's really about tapping into that and not like when you're even coming up with a decision of how to come against an obstacle or hurdle with your child that's like, versus asking a million people like what do I do not that advice is it isn't great to get from other people, but it's really about tapping into intuition. And seeing what your you know, what is your mother self inside telling you is the best way to approach the issue or to and you know, your child. So it's like, tapping into the intuitive part that we all have. Like, I just remember when I became a mother, like, you know, when I was pregnant, like the intuition piece, like, that's where a lot of my intuition like really started blossoming. And knowing that we have this superpower that's within all of us and really being able to just get quiet for a moment, tap into it and see where it takes us. Because it's we've always got the answers within, you know, we know. So it's like your intuition is your superpower and just tapping into that at any moment.
Jackie Leonard 25:14
How do you tap? Like, what's How do you know? And it's intuition. And it's just
Rachel Crawford 25:18
that internal feeling of knowing everyone has a different way of of tapping of connecting to intuition. So some people they might just know, or it might just be in your gut where you're just like, I know this like, or, you know, when you, you know, when your child's like lying to you, like, you can tell, like, you know, when something's up or something's off, like, you know, like, you just have that inkling or that feeling like, there's something there's something more like, or if they give you an answer, you know, there's something else there. Or when you know that, you know, your child's sick or they're hurt, you just, you might get a little feeling, you know, that Oh, shit, like, I need to check in on my kid. You know, or that little whisper in your ear of like, there's something there.
Jackie Leonard 25:58
Yeah, yeah. So it's like trusting that instead of just, you know, ignoring it. Is is
Rachel Crawford 26:04
is key. Yeah, it's some sort of a feeling or, yeah, inner knowing.
Jackie Leonard 26:09
Mm hmm. And I agree with you, I feel like I feel like during pregnancy, it's like, at its like most, like you're so for me, I also felt like I was really tapped into that. And then it's like, remembering what that felt like. So that later on after, I could still kind of get a feel for okay, you know, this is yeah. And then the last thing, what's something you watched, listened to, or read recently that you loved,
Rachel Crawford 26:36
that you want to share with? So yeah, so the book that actually, like helped me get out of my, that, like helped me realize, like, what the heck I was doing was this, which is the practice of groundedness by Brad Stolberg. And this is the book that, like, had me realize that I was like, he calls it suffering from heroic individualism. And that was like, all the like symptoms. And I was like, check, check, check, check, check, like, every freaking thing. And I was just like, Oh my God, but it's just about, you know, getting grounded, practicing present moment and not being distracted and how to prepare yourself to, to be in those spaces so that you don't fall back into those habits and, and things
Jackie Leonard 27:25
so. Okay, thanks. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen that cover. And I remember when I read that, like, the title and the subtitle, I was like, Yeah, that could be to check out seems like a really like, an honest one that will be important. So yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Rachel Crawford 27:47
So like, and it's an audible, you know, the first time I read it was listening to it. I know. It's just like, because I'm multitasking. I can't just read a book.
Jackie Leonard 27:58
I'm the same way. Oh, my gosh, you're like, exactly what I do. So I am going to do a lot of reflecting now after. But um, I always really just enjoy talking to you. I think you give a lot of just really like your insight into the world and just being honest about how it's been for you the past few months as a mom and a business owner. It's just been something that I've appreciated hearing and I know everyone else will. So thank you. I hope you have a wonderful holiday. And best of luck finding presence and grounding.
Rachel Crawford 28:34
Yeah, yeah, that's that's my, my, my goal here.
Jackie Leonard 28:40
Yeah. Before we go, I just remembered I want to share how people can connect with you after listening to
Rachel Crawford 28:48
Yeah, so you can follow me on Instagram. Everything's at everything's Rachel Lorraine. So R A C H E L, L A, R R A I N E. So it's at Rachel Larraine on Instagram, and then on Patreon for my membership group. It's patreon.com forward slash Rachel Lorraine, and then Rachel Lorraine calm and then that will also link you to all the things so
Jackie Leonard 29:15
again, thank you so much, and I will wish you a very Happy New Year holidays and all that.
Rachel Crawford 29:24
Yeah, this is this is good. I think this is a good time for reflection and, and yeah, setting some good intentions for next year and slowing down. That's That's my intention right now.