What is a Mother Writer?

ABOUT THE EPISODE

In this first episode of Mother Writer, you'll hear all about what led to the big changes on the podcast and what you can expect. I'm also sharing my reaction to some problematic headlines on a popular motherhood site before diving into today’s topic. I'm unpacking what it means to be a mother writer and what makes the life of a writer while mothering uniquely challenging. At the end of the episode, I'll be reading a recent essay I published that might just convince you that giving up is the secret to productivity! 

Full Disclosure: This was recorded while I was recovering from a cough so this is not normally what my voice sounds like – just in case you’re a new listener ;) – hoping to be back to normal in the weeks to come.

TOPICS DISCUSSED

• Why mothers are foundational to the success of our society and how Mother Writer will help moms get more stories out there in the world

• How the creation of Motherscope is tied to my complicated relationship with the popular media site, Motherly 

• What it means to be a mother writer and why writing while mothering is uniquely challenging

• The similarities between writing and motherhood when it comes to finding success in both

• How to step out of isolation as a writer and as a mother by finding your village of support

• A glimpse into my life as a mother writer on a recent road trip

MOTHERHOOD IN THE WILD

This week’s segment focused on some recent headlines from the website, Motherly.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Check out our Writing Community: The Motherscope Writers’ Club

• Past Episode from Season 2 of the Podcast: “The Ambivalent Mother and The Lost Daughter (Bad Moms)”

• Support My Writing & Motherscope’s Growth by Subscribing to: A Mother Writer on Substack

WRITING PROMPT

What's something you can give up in order to make time for yourself, whether that's for writing or something else important to who you are.

• CLICK HERE TO READ A RAW, UNEDITED TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE

  Jackie Leonard 00:00
  Hello, welcome to the podcast. Welcome back. It's been a couple of months since I've put out a new episode. And if you listen to the announcement from last week, you know that the mother scope podcast is having a little bit of a refresh. And with that is a new name. The podcast is now called Mother writer. This is a podcast still brought to you by mother scope. And still with me as your host, Jackie Leonard, the founder of Mother scope. For anyone listening to this podcast for the first time, Mother scope is a community and publication on the verge of feeling like a media group now with a podcast that is in service of and for stories by and about mothers. Our goal with mothers scope is to broaden the scope and the nuance of stories about motherhood. So that those of us in an affected by motherhood feel like we are represented that our stories are heard. And we do that, through putting out stories written by moms all over the world, with this podcast, and also with our writing groups and writing workshops. When I became a mom, for the first time, five years ago, I felt like everything that I was reading about motherhood was either very how to, or bloggie and felt very polished. And that was not marrying the experience that I was having. I felt like I also wanted a space to be able to share my story. And even though I was an experienced writer, and somebody who had written for publications in the past, I kept getting rejections when I tried to submit to bigger publications that cater to moms. And so I created mother's scope. And from there, I've built it out and tweaked it to meet the needs and the interests of people within our community. And I'm always looking for new opportunities to expand our visibility and get more people who appreciate stories by mothers who appreciate nuance and complex dialogue and storytelling around motherhood. And for people who recognize that mothers are foundational to the success of our society. And the earlier iterations of this podcast, I have sought to provide more opportunities for people to share their stories of motherhood that was the focus of season one of the podcast. In season two, I wanted to get more critical and look at why mom guilt is so prevalent for so many of us. And I did that by looking at our guilty pleasures, the things that we consume in pop culture and the stuff we entertain ourselves with on TV and movies, and dissected the way mothers are represented in these stories to help find out and have some clarity around why we feel so let let down or misguided before we become moms, it became very clear that a lot of times the representation of motherhood has been either completely erased, very stereotypically represented. Or in some rare cases, we do get complex characters who are mothers, when the writers or those who produce these movies or TV shows are often mothers themselves. And the nearly 50 episodes that I put out with the mother school podcast, I realized that the most popular episodes had to do with writing specifically, or reading. And so I started to think about how I could cater more to people who are listening and bring in more people who are interested in writing themselves. And that's how mother writer came to be. If you are somebody who has been listening to the podcast since the beginning, the heart of this podcast is going to be the same. We're going to focus on the life of a writer who is also a mother and more specifically, I wanted to do this so that I could dig in with various writers that we bring on and find out how they do what they do. My goal is that for you as a listener of if writing and publishing is something that you want to do yourself and are kind of stuck with the How to or the logistics of it in your life, that you will hear a little nuggets that you can apply to your own situation. My goal is to find ways to have more moms who want to write, be able to write and publish and get their stories out there. Because that is the way that I see we can really change the narratives that have been put out there about motherhood. I've already got a lineup of guests that I'm really excited about. And I also am weaving in episodes where I might do a little mini workshop that guides you through the process of writing a certain story, or diving deeply into a book that was written either about motherhood or by a mother writer. There are a number of people in our community with another scope, who have published their own books. And I've been looking for an opportunity to spotlight those books in some way. And I think this podcast will be a great way to do that as well so that you can learn about them and possibly get their books and support a new writer. So I hope that little introduction helps you have an idea for what to expect moving forward on the podcast. So let's dive into today's episode. To begin every episode, from here on out, I'm going to start with the first segment, which is the motherhood in the wild segments. This is where I or a guests that we have on the podcast will bring to the table something that they read about or saw that pertain to motherhood in the wild, quote, unquote, I want this segment to continue some of the stuff that we talked about in season two of the podcast where I focused on the ways motherhood is represented in the media and entertainment and pop culture, and also just in our daily lives that we contend with, and are either responding to or trying to, to challenge I like to think of Mother scope and the things that we offer as places where you can show up and be yourself as a parents. But we can't always do that in other settings, right, we sometimes have to have our guards up or where you face judgment in different ways. I also see some of these experiences and things that I notice out in the wild as possible inspiration to stories or essays that we could write. So it's a little dual purpose. That's a way to get some things off our chest before we dive into our chats for the day. And also to see what our thoughts are on a certain subject. Since today is a solo episode. And I'm also reminiscing on my origin story with mother scope, I decided to because I didn't have something fresh on my mind, go to the website motherly. And for those of you who don't know, part of why I created mother's scope was because as a new mom, I, the one of the only places that I was really seeing published stories or things about motherhood, early on in my social media experience, was motherly. And I mean, I'm not here to criticize too heavily motherly on what they're doing. I think they've put out a lot of great content that has been a good resource for moms, I still sometimes click on their articles and essays and stuff, but maybe because it's gotten pretty big, I'm sure they get a huge readership. Something about it is very curated to me. And even back then, when I submitted a few pitches to motherly to write for them. I was rejected, which was fine, I've been rejected plenty of times. But when I went on to their stories to see who was getting published, I noticed that the ones that I was finding happen to be very big bloggers with huge followings or celebrities. And I felt a little left out of the story. I felt like my story didn't matter, or wouldn't be accepted by this publication because I wasn't an established blogger or an influencer or a celebrity. And I didn't like what that made me feel like as a new mom. I felt like I was being left out of the conversation. And so anyways, that's that's my story behind why I created mother scope. But fast forward. All these years later, I just went right now to mother leaves websites. And I have to be honest, I have some strong reactions coming up to the headlines that I'm seeing. I'll try not to like go too heavy into it. But for anybody's Look who's looking to rights kind of like a critical essay about the way motherhood is represented. You might find some things on this website. The first one at the top of the page is 12 Thanksgiving Day activities that are great for kids. So I'm not going to click on the link but it says in the subhead, preparing a Thanksgiving feast take serious time. and energy. And if you have kids, then those are two things you probably don't have. Don't worry, Mama, we got you. So I went ahead and clicked on the link, and it, it seriously overwhelmed me. And so this is I'm actually gonna have a conversation with our guests next week about this. And so I don't want to go too heavy into it. But this is a lot like I have young kids. So maybe people with older children need things to keep their kids occupied and will appreciate an article like this. But even just seeing 12 activities in a headline, like makes me want to like hide, I do not want to spend time filtering through these activities to find one that works for me, I should be like, three Thanksgiving activities at most. So I just think when I saw that headline, what came to mind when I saw it was like, Thanksgiving Day activities like I'm, I'm not even there. Like that's not something that's on my mind right now like thinking of things to do with my kids on Thanksgiving other than the regular activities that we do in a day. So already, I feel kind of a little bit called out like that I should be thinking of things to do with my kids that are creative and special for the holiday instead of what I'm actually thinking about, which is like what do I want to make for Thanksgiving that is not going to overwhelm me and that my family will enjoy on the whole on this website, which obviously it's called motherly. So it's to cater to mothers. But something about it feels like it's putting the onus on the mother to do all these activities, which in and of itself, feels problematic to me. Further down, there's a headline that says Daniel Tiger is the perfect antidote to screen time guilt. Again, on surface level, like what's so bad about that headline, I'm always looking for recommendations for good things for my kids to watch. And I even actually recently shared on social media, a show that I've really liked that my kids started watching, that I recommended to other parents. However, something about the headline feels a little bit like a backhanded compliment. It's not the same thing. I don't know what term to use. But something about it is like signaling to mothers that screen time makes them feel guilty, which admittedly, I feel guilty sometimes about how much TV my kids are getting in a day. But it's something that for me, I've tried to let go of in in favor of my mental health. It ranks lower to me than other things that our priorities and our family. So when I see that headline, what's not being said as basically like, if your kids are not watching programming, like Daniel Tiger, then maybe you should be feeling guilty about the screen time they're getting. I'll share two more headlines because I think they kind of cumulatively express the impacts that I'm trying to get at. The next headline that I wanted to point out is want to make a new moms holiday season easier. This bouncer will save the day. And this is in the section that's titled our partners. So it's like a sponsored post or a blog. But just the idea that buying something will make a mom's holiday easier just is frustrating to me, because what I think a new mom would actually appreciate. And what would make a new moms holiday a lot easier for them would be to first ask them what they would like. And secondly, to maybe just offer them money or a helping hand so that they could truly get what they need. I understand that, you know, sponsorships are what help a company like motherly exist, since their content is free to its readers. But to say that an item will make a mom's holiday easier, is just like, you know, it's capitalism. I know that obviously baby products, some of them are lifesavers. I don't negate that. But just something about it feels icky. It's a read and a headline. So all of these things, right? I'm I'm sharing about, you know, here are these activities that you can do with your kids on a Thanksgiving holiday. Here's a show that won't give you guilt when you let your kids watch it. Here's something that you could buy to make your life easier. All those headlines are jumping out at me. And then the last one, which is under the category of self care, why experts suggest you should start screaming for self care. This is the headline that I'm most drawn to, to actually like read in full, but I just find it a little ironic that it's in The same space as all the other ones that I shared because they are part of the reason why I feel the need to screen. I'll wrap up by just saying like I don't intend to knock motherly. Like I said, I've I've used that as a resource for myself. I've read its blogs before and found them helpful. But I think they represent some of the problems that exist with our media culture today, which is these headlines that are meant to attract people to click them, because the higher the clicks, the more ad revenue. However, a lot of times these headlines are always see because we will see them on social media posts and just read a short excerpt from the article, or we'll scroll a website and just see the headlines and only click on one of them. But those headlines do register we read them. And they create messages that we make about ourselves about what others are doing out there that we are not, and they contribute to the problem. On a positive note, though, I do feel like this website really gave me a lot of material with which I could dive in and say a lot in a critical way about motherhood and, and the expectations we put on mothers. So if you too, are feeling a little charged or eager to react to some of the headlines I shared, I invite you to head to motherly occasionally and see what comes up for you. They are definitely not the only site that does this. So it's definitely indicative of a larger problem, right. So now to the main event, the discussion for today, which is the mother writer, what makes a mother writer, what makes a mother read are different than a writer? What about the act of writing? Well, mothering is significant or different or special? And why is that becoming the subject and the focus of this podcast? I think I've shared this comparison before, but I think it bears repeating. And it's super relevant to this first episode. So I'm constantly reminded of the fact that the experiences of mothers and writers that are very similar, specifically the life of a writer mirroring the life experiences of a mother, and also what a writer needs to be successful, being very similar to the same things that a mother needs to be successful. So one example is I'm sure you've heard this idea of the writer living a solitary life, a writer needs to spend a lot of time alone in order to to be successful. We've been conditioned in society to think of writing as a solitary act, something that you do alone, and therefore is something that is very lonely. So this idea that if you choose to live a life, as a writer, you're signing up for a lot of time by yourself a lot of time in solitude, needing to work by yourself in order to complete a project. I can imagine then how unappealing the life of a writer would be for somebody who's more extroverted, or who likes to socialize or doesn't like to work by themselves. But more than that, I actually feel like it's an incorrect depiction of what it actually means to be a successful writer. I don't know what the publishing world looked like, you know, 100 years ago, so maybe it's more accurate for back then. But what I've learned, in recent years, as I've been exploring how to publish, and seek out book projects myself, the reality is, is that there are a lot of people that go into, and that work together to create a book, any book that you see at a bookstore right now, is not the culmination of one person's solitary effort. And fact, it's is quite the opposite. A lot of hands touch the page in order for it to reach you, the reader, agents, editors, publishers, readers, early readers, coaches, not to mention if this person workshop to their story in a course, or if they were a part of a writing residency, that included feedback and mentoring. I think it's really important to be aware of this and to know this every time we read a book, because so often if you are somebody who's an aspiring writer, you can look at a book and be like, How can I do this? I can't ever imagine myself doing it. And if you don't know that, there's A whole team involved a whole village that made this book come to life. To include I didn't even mention marketing, publicists and distributors, it can be really easy to feel like I'm not enough, how could I ever do something like that? The answer is you can't do it alone. And so obviously, it can be overwhelming to think, how do I find all these people to help me. However, being aware of what you need is an important step, instead of thinking that you have to do it all by yourself. So if you haven't already picked up what I'm putting down, a lot of what I just said, is very similar to what the experience is like, for a mother, a new mother, especially, it's often depicted as being a very lonely experience. I mean, rightfully so. very isolating. And I think a lot of what contributes to that lonely, isolating feeling of a new mother is that so many of the responsibilities and tasks of mothering a newborn baby, are often assigned to the mother. Obviously, in some ways, the physicality of new motherhood, right, if you physically gave birth to your child, you are physically recovering, you are the only one who had that experience. If you are exclusively breastfeeding, you are the one that's physically responsible for feeding the baby, I think we can get into all the different ways that it's maybe unfairly taken advantage of to put all of the responsibilities on the new mother exclusively, when there are ways that that other people can support that new mother. But historically, especially socialized in our Western society in the United States, there is this expectation placed on new mothers to do a lot. And so that can feel very overwhelming and isolating and lonely. We know intuitively that it's not true that that's not the way it has to be. And the way around that is by arming the new mother with a village have a support a support system, to help them take care of the child. When I was a new mom, and still today, I sometimes find myself falling victim to comparison, and I'll see somebody out there, a mom specifically who looks like they just have everything under control. They're doing amazing, their kids are participating in all these activities. They're killing it in their career. They make time for socializing with friends. And I'm just like, how, how are they able to do it, and I'm drowning. Obviously, for starters, social media is a highlight reel. But what I try to remind myself is that I don't know what's going on in their day to day life, but likely they are thriving, because they have a team or support system in place that is helping distribute some of the responsibilities carrying the load in different ways. So that that mother can do all the other things that that we're seeing on social media that they're telling me about, right? So this village of support can be you know, vital to the success and the ability for a mother to thrive, right. So that can be childcare, either hired or family. It can be a parent who is a stay at home parent versus a parent who works out of the home full time, everything from income levels to where the person lives to how many family members are in the home, all of that factors into the equation, right. But ultimately, the quality and the depth of the support system available to a mother reflects their ability to thrive. I think that looks different for every person and every family. But in the same way that a writer is only as successful as its team around them. I think the same can be said about a mother. I think a mother also needs a community of other mothers and other friends to help remind them of who they are, to support them to inspire them, uplift them, somebody that they can be themselves around and be frank and honest with and not be judged. A community of friends, a support system to go to when they need help, but who also is there to just listen and provide space for them to process. That support system doesn't always have to be like acquaintances or family members that can be a therapist or or professional in whatever area. They need support in writers to need a community they need mentors, they need other writers that are there to remind them that writing is important to be a little competitive with to be inspired by too Get feedback from being a part of a writing community is essential to the success and consistency of a writer. I also think writing is something that is very vulnerable. And something that requires a level of truth and confronting of insecurities in order to push through. We face a lot of rejection as writers, especially when we pursue publishing and try to share our stories. And I don't think I could think of anything else that felt similar to that experience until I became a mother. Because I don't think there's anything else that's more vulnerable to do publicly than mother. Whether we like it or not, our children become reflections of us in the same way that stories become the things we write become reflections of us and are dissected and critiqued and commented on, how often whether we liked it or not to people make comments about our children in public or the way we mothered. And in turn, that made us feel a type of way about ourselves to mother is, in essence, to live with your heart outside of your body, right. And so we essentially become more vulnerable as humans, when we become parents, because a part of us now exists out in public, without our control. our stories and our poems and the things that we write and publish acts in a similar way, once they're out in the world, they're out there. And they are open to criticism and the judgments of the world without our control. Oftentimes, when it comes to being a writer, we experience imposter syndrome we feel insecure about our writing or like we're not good enough. We compare ourselves to others. I feel like the imposter syndrome version of mothering is mom guilt. To end on a more positive note, I also believe that motherhood is powerful, and creatively fulfilling in a lot of ways. I've found that motherhood has enhanced my writing and the way I see the world and has given me I was gonna say, has given me life. And I'll just leave it at that. But it's enhanced my life, it's given me just like a deeper way of living, which has been complicated, it hasn't always been sunshine and roses. But it has also been sunshine and roses as well. And it's brought beauty into my life in a different way, alongside pain, and loss. And I find that I have that same relationship with writing, to be a person who's living her life and carrying on my days, while also being a writer, I just noticed that I live in a different way than people who who don't write, I spend time reflecting on experiences I have, in a different way because I'm writing them down and I'm looking back at them and I'm revisiting them and and going back and exploring my past and analyzing it. So in this way, I'm living in a deeper way a different way. I'm not saying it's better, or you know, anything like that, or worse. I'm just saying it's different. And like I said, I, I feel like the only other way that I can describe it is to describe what it feels like to be a parent. I feel like my lens is different than a person who doesn't have those two lenses doesn't have the motherhood lens doesn't have the writer lens. I experience things differently. The French writer a nice men, I don't know if I'm saying that right. But she has the famous quote, we write to taste life twice in the moment. And in retrospection. That quote to me is how I would describe myself as a writer, what makes me feel different than other people. And maybe for the person who doesn't consider themselves a writer. It's kind of like, similarly obnoxious to hear someone say this as when somebody would tell you, Oh, you won't know until you become a parent. So I'm not trying to be like annoying with like, oh, writers are so different. We experience things so differently. But maybe this lends itself to the the notion that the writer is a little isolated and a little lonely. We spend a lot of our time in our heads, creating thinking about things, creating stories in our minds. And maybe that's a nice way to segue into why I feel like the mother writer is a little different than your everyday writer. I shared how, for me becoming a mom deepened my my experiences deep in the way I saw the world deepened my emotions, the ways the impact of my decisions and just my even my creativity, I just felt like it made me want to dive in more headfirst into my passions. And so that's why I'm here. And I'm talking about writing, having the privilege of getting to watch a new life grow and be a witness to the way they see the world and the way they put their the way their personalities, develop, feels special, it feels unique. And to be a writer who's experiencing that, I just often feel like I, I ended up having more stories than I could ever write in a way that I didn't experience before. I've talked in the past and on other podcasts about how, when I was pregnant, I remember feeling like all of my creativity went into the physical growth of my child. And after I had my children both times I felt like a surge of inspiration and creativity in my postpartum period. That was like really frustrating, because alongside feeling like really creatively stimulated, I also like had no time and was exhausted. Right. And I think that encapsulates kind of the conundrum the problems that we face as mother writers, people who are trying to be writers and live a writer life, alongside the tasks, the role of mothering. We experience a unique set of challenges, time management, motivation, accountability, community, all of these things are a little bit more challenging to somebody who is parenting at the same time? How do I fit writing, which is something that I just do for fun? Perhaps or that isn't something that is paying me money right now? How do I prioritize that over? My kids while being how do I prioritize that over making meals throughout the day cleaning my house working, a lot of times that ends up being low on the list, right? At the same time, if we are a writer, if we consider ourselves writers, somebody who is drawn to writing as our way of expressing ourselves. A lot of times if we aren't writing, we are disconnected from ourselves, we are not spending quality time thinking about the things that are bothering us or the things that light us up. And without realizing it, we lose a part of ourselves by placing it so low on our priority list. I think for that reason, somebody who considers themselves a mother writer needs that regular reminder, they need a built in structure in place where they can show up to write they need people who are also mothers who are writers, who they can see doing the same things that they're doing, who they are kind of pushed to do more because they see that they're publishing and they also have children of similar ages. This is why through mother scope, I created the mother scope writers club, because we meet every Wednesday at 10am pacific time to write together and have a built in structure in place. So every week, you know what's going to come and it is provided for you. So you don't have to think about what you're going to write it you just have to sit down and write and make the time for yourself. I think all these things are important for writers of any kind. But they are especially necessary for somebody who is a writer, who also is parenting children. Obviously, fathers who are writers have their own set of challenges. But I think the role of mother that construct the label of mother is so loaded and so filled with expectations that are different from, frankly, what fathers are expected of that the mother writer has their own set of challenges and circumstances that I think put them at a disadvantage to pursue writing to pursue publishing. I think that's why historically, we've seen very few stories, even when they are about mothers not written by mothers. I talked in season two on the podcast about the movie Bad Moms. And man wrote that movie. I'm sure there's a joke in there that there is an men had to write that movie was because the moms were too busy taking care of children to do so. In the year 2022. and beyond. This should no longer be accepted. Stories about motherhood should be written by mothers. I don't know if that's a controversial thing to say. But I just I know that in my experience, when I've sat down and looked into who is creating the movies and the shows that are out there, not nearly enough of them are mothers and time and again, especially in the past. asked the narratives that we're still contending with and trying to fight to dispel and rewrites were written by men. I'm encouraged though to highlights the progress and spotlight the writers who are mothers who are currently publishing who are putting out honest, brilliant, fascinating work that challenges the status quo that considers others outside of their own experiences that is nuanced, and complicated. And that gives me a lot of hope. So on weeks that I have a guest, I'm always going to invite them to share some of their writing with us. Since this week is a solo episode I'm going to be reading from my own writing. And this is an opportunity for me to plug my substack, which feels a little awkward because I don't like self promoting, but I did create the sub stack as a way for people who want to support me and mother scope to do so. If you become a subscriber for $5 a month you get access to the full posts. Today, I'm going to read it to you as a non subscriber, so you can get a taste for what's in there. In a lot of ways, the substack is an extension of this podcast. Because there I invite you into the process of me writing more and pursuing different writing projects, and sharing candidly what my experiences are in the process. I'll link that in the show notes. But here is my piece that is titled The art of giving up. How giving up might be the secret to productivity. I'm sitting on the couch of a hotel room with my laptop on top of my lap. Both of my children are playing in front of me on the carpeted floor watching a children's program from our iPad. While she watches my daughter pulls various food items and toiletries from our backpack. Remnants of that 1000 mile road trip we just endured to get to San Diego, California. About a half hour ago, my husband asked if he could go lie down for 30 minutes. And because he drove the whole way here, while I listened to audiobooks and napped and enjoyed the hours of relative peace in a car filled with family members. I thought sure you've earned it. I also thought maybe this is a good time for me to write. Since we checked in my kids were releasing a kind of energy that told me they were ready to wreck stuff. My daughter flung the popcorn she begged for minutes before all over the floor. Before I had time to pick it up. Both she and my son were picking it up and filling their mouths. They were using their toys to shovel more popcorn into their mouths. Then walking all over it. I stood there and an internal I give up allowed me to move through that moment without too much strife. It was not the first I give up moment of my day, far from it. And it was not my last case in point when I decided to sit down and write. That special sense I've developed as a mother of five years now told me that my kids were mellowing out for an indeterminate amount of time. My husband was resting and I identified a window of opportunity without making much fuss because of us would have surely blown my cover. I sat down on the couch, opened my laptop and turned it on. It did not turn on. It was dead. No problem. I reassured myself I grabbed the charger quickly and plugged it into the outlet attached to the lamp on the table. Hotels love putting outlets everywhere except where they belong because this outlets did not work well myself to not be deterred and was rewarded with a free outlet on the wall under the table. Just as my laptop was glowing and loading, our our doorbell rang followed by a loud knock. It was a maintenance person following up on my call earlier about our television. Earlier in the afternoon, I was horrified to discover that the only four channels with children's content were not working. The maintenance person had arrived with a new TV to swap out the old 10 Minutes Later I've sat down again and again before I can even open up a word processor another knock at our door. This time the highchair I requested. All week I've been hearing messaging reminding me to ask for help. On the podcast I listened to the last night. It's three hosts all women shared how difficult but necessary it was to know when to ask for help. But in this moment, holding the highchair and looking over at my neglected laptop and the ever closing window of opportunity. I don't think asking for help is the problem. When I finally sat down after playing with the television remote for way too long to settle on something good for the kids, and answer a phone call and fill a water bottle. My husband's 30 minutes had come and gone. Since his phone was charging he said to send the kids in when time was up. Halfway through this writing my daughter came over to me clutching my shoulder and embracing me. If you didn't know any better, it would have looked like a hug. One of those sweet moments that make you assess what's important makes you put down the work for a special moment with your child. held, but I knew better because the reason she was leaning in so sweetly with that smile that is easy now to decode was because she wanted closer access to the buttons and keys on my laptop. I pushed through, I kept going, at least until I could say I did something in spite of all the interruptions and signs telling me Don't do this right now. Because lately, life's been full of science with no detour. The messaging is always the same. Now is not the time. But after five years of parenting, and over two years into a pandemic, and 1000 miles of travel that reminded me how rarely our realities come close to our expectations. I am learning how to make it work with what I have in the moment, and nothing more. Within a 30 minute period, writing 900 words required more I give ups than I can delineate. My daughter is still hovering over me one foot toggling over my thigh, inching its way to the keyboard. My son is opening and closing his mouth, so she can put her fingers inside. They are squealing and charging up again for a tornado of energy, I will not subject myself to alone. The smell of my daughter's diaper tells me it needs attention. She's getting irritated by her older brothers pestering. I give up, I declare the period to my sentence, the end of this writing session and send my son in to wake up his dad. And with that, now it's time for your writing prompt inspired by the story that I just read. If you're new to the podcast, I like to end every episode with a writing prompt so that you can process and apply what you've heard about in the episode to your own life. So this week's writing prompt is what's something you can give up in order to make time for yourself. Whether that's for writing or something else important to who you are