So Many Ideas, So Little Writing
ABOUT THE EPISODE
In this episode of Mother Writer, I’m discussing the problem with having too many story ideas and not enough writing to show for it. I will walk you through a few recommendations you can implement early on in your writing process. They have worked for me in the past, and I am trying to incorporate them as well as I navigate three writing projects that are pulling me in opposite directions and taking me away from what I believe is also your goal - which is to get our ideas out of our heads and onto the page. So, if you're a writer who loves to collect ideas but has a more challenging time seeing those ideas through, grab some tea or coffee and get comfortable because you're going to feel very seen and validated and maybe a little called out in today's episode. Enjoy!
TOPICS DISCUSSED
The problem with having too many ideas
My current dilemma choosing between three ideas
Ways to honor your story ideas without self sabotaging your goals
Questions to consider when facing multiple ideas of interest
5 tips for how to commit to one story idea so you can get out of your head and start writing
MOTHERHOOD IN THE WILD
In this week’s segment, I discuss Lydia Kiesling’s recent essay in The Cut, Does My Kid Have RSV, Flu, COVID, or Hand, Foot, and Mouth? / What Is It This Time?.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER WHEN FACED WITH MULTIPLE IDEAS:
Which story am I most scared to tell?
What story is consuming me right now?
How can I honor my multiple ideas and still focus on one right now?
Which idea do I have the clearest vision of where it’s going?
TIPS FOR HOW TO COMMIT TO ONE IDEA
Reserve time this week to spend with each competing idea. Journal freely about one story per day. Take note of how you feel – emotionally, physically, mentally – after spending time writing each story.
Write a summary or book synopsis for each. Next, read each summary aloud. Choose the idea that feels the most exciting to read out loud.
Set aside the other ideas somewhere you know you can find and return to them.
Share your commitment with your writing community or support system.
Set two deadlines for this story, a start date and an end date, with a reminder midway in your calendar.
RESOURCES MENTIONED
WRITING PROMPT
What do you want to write about? What subject or topic lights you up, fires you up, excites you so much that you want to write about it, and would love to do it over and over again?
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Jackie Leonard 00:00
Hello, today, it's just you and me on the podcast. And oftentimes, that means you're in for a little bit of trouble because when I at least have a guest on, I have to stick to a plan, or at least I have to make sure that we stay on topic with what the guest wants to talk about. But when it's just me, I'm left to my own devices, which fits in perfectly with what I'm going to talk about with you today. So if you're like me, if you're a writer who is more in love with the idea of ideas, and coming up with new ideas, and loves to collect ideas, but has a harder time actually seeing those ideas through, grab some tea or coffee, get comfortable, because you're going to feel very seen and validated and maybe a little called out in today's episode. Thankfully, I will not leave you hanging. And you'll walk away from this episode with some recommendations for what you can do that have worked for me in the past, and that I am trying to incorporate as well as I navigate, not one, not two, but three writing projects that are pulling me in opposite directions and taking me away from what I believe is also your goal, which is to get our ideas out of our heads and onto the page. To warm us up though, I wanted to share my motherhood in the wild, and counter. If you're new to the podcast, this is the segment at the beginning of every episode where I or our guests for the week shares where they've experienced commentary about motherhood or watched something that got them thinking about the way society portrays mothers something like that, that they've noticed recently that they want to bring to have a conversation about with a fellow mother writer. So today, I'm going to share an article that I read recently that is about something that has been on my mind and that I feel like a bit of a broken record talking about over the past few months. But I think it's for a good reason. And I really appreciated this read and thought I would share a little bit about it. In case you haven't read it as well. This essay was featured in the QAT by Lydia Kiessling, its title is does my kid have RSP, flu, COVID or hand foot and mouth? What I think is interesting is when I click on the link, actually, the title is what is it this time, which I think is interesting to take note of as a writer, because I know for SEO purposes, a lot of times titles get changed. What is it this time is something that I often think as soon as I noticed either myself or my husband's or my kids seem to be getting sick. But it is true that the title does my kid have RSV flu, COVID or hand foot and mouth? When I saw that on a graphic on social media, it popped out to me instantly. So I'm not sure if what is it this time would have popped the same way. As I was scrolling on social media. This actually was shared to me by a couple other moms. When this was released. It was published on November 30 2022. Like I said it appeared in the QAT. And really what it talks about is one mother's experience of just having to deal with a child who was sick having a school shutdown because of an outbreak and multiple different illnesses. And having to figure out how to survive the day get through a workday or just deal with the consequences of childcare that's supposed to be dependable falling through i I was up late at night. Last night, actually, because my son is sick and he came to bed with us and I couldn't sleep and I randomly in my head, what popped in was wondering what happens when, you know, a child is sick and is sick for multiple days, and the parents have to go back to work. And if they have a nanny, does the nanny end up having to watch the child because, you know, I was thinking about the fact that in childcare or like preschools and stuff if the child is sick, they get sent home, right? And the idea is the teacher doesn't want to get sick. They don't want the children to get sick. It's it's what you do. And so I thought, well, if I hired somebody to come and watch my children in my home, what is the expectation there? I don't I don't have somebody that that comes in to watch our kids. So I was just really curious about how that works. But regardless, the problem persists, right? If a child is sick, one parent or both parents have to figure out how to care for that child and still work or resume, whatever it is that they had planned for that day, which can be really stressful. It often goes up without saying that when a child does have to stay home sick, the burden of caretaking often falls on the mother for a variety of reasons. I don't know what the percentages are, what that looks like the for a number of reasons that is the case. And we already know that millions of mothers left the workforce due to the pandemic and many have not returned or have not returned to jobs that were comparable as a result. And that's going to lead to down the line, continued income, inequity and all of that. This could be a whole podcast episode, right. But what I wanted to point out about Lydia key slings essay, specifically that I appreciated was she at the end of the essay, highlights that she noticed has noticed herself sort of reacting negatively whenever she sees articles like these online are tweets that talk about pandemic parenting or caretaking inequities, the child care crisis, all of those things, she said that she has had to force herself to not roll her eyes or feel annoyed by seeing these so often on her feed. She refers to it as an impulse to say get over it. And what she's really referring to is just seeing such similar things discussed she she sees it coming up over and over again. And I know exactly what she's talking about. She says rhetoric is hard, it feels impossible to find another way to say things are not going well. Whether you are worn out parents and exhausted preschool provider, a terrified immunocompromised person, a fed up worker, a child covered with pustules, or some combination thereof. The what I want to say in response is actually like a thank you to her for continuing to write about it. And for all these people who do have it in them to be that broken record that squeaky wheel because talking about unpleasant current realities is really hard. And, and I also think it's really important and necessary and the way that we will at least be working toward change, not away from it. But as somebody who writes a lot of times to feel better, and to escape the parts of reality that are, are, I'd say that feel like they are out of my control to resolve. I have so much respect and admiration for the people who are doing this, and who continue to write on these topics all the time. And I'm not just going to leave it to them, I'm not going to say like, Oh, I'm so glad that people like this writer and the others that I read, are writing about this stuff. So I don't have to it's actually reminding me that I don't want issues to get swept under the rug because we as a society are overhearing about it or feel too discouraged or dismissed to come up with an actionable solution. Because the reality is, according to new data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, workplace absences for childcare reasons, rose to an all time high in October of this year of 2022. That is huge news. That is not just news. But that's a crisis. And it's a crisis that to my knowledge has not been addressed. on a national scale. There has been no response to this. This is data from a national bureau, the Bureau of Labor Statistics, saying that, like parents all across the country, in the United States to be clear, and because there's somebody listening who is outside the US, but I'm sure this is going on across the world. But specifically in the US, right, we are experiencing a crisis of people in the workforce who are having to call out for childcare reasons, because of the multiple different illnesses that are circulating in our schools and everywhere right now. And to my knowledge, there's nothing being done to help support the parents who are having to deal with this. So sometimes my motherhood in the wild, calls out something that I feel is wrong or harmful about the way motherhood is being represented or depicted or commented on. And other times it's to point out where people are doing the work to create awareness and also shine a personal light on something that can easily be eluded in vague abstract concepts like child care problems or the need for paid parental leave and things like that. So if you're listening and you, like me have had people in your household who have been sick a lot recently have had to cancel plans or miss work because of sick children recently, I want to encourage you to try writing about it. Sit down and process, what that experience has been like and how it relates to the larger problem, as referenced in this article in the QAT. And go ahead and do that with all your free time since you've got sick people you're taking care of.
So today's topic is all about the problem with having too many ideas. For what we want to write about, I shared in the intro at the beginning, that I'm somebody who has, I mean, probably dozens of ideas saved in my phone, little plots, story ideas, like ideas for chapters, lines that I love that I want to work around tons of different things, those are all to me, what I would consider an idea something that is not fully rendered not thought through. Obviously, it's not a complete story. It's just the very beginning of something. And I'm always a little hesitant to be overly critical when it comes to writing. Because as in my personal life, I'm trying to practice grace, because I'm somebody who has very high expectations for myself. But I also know that it's important that if I want to take my writing seriously, and if I believe that mothers as a whole who wants to write need real support, there has to be accountability that goes with that there has to be that voice that tells me and that advises others, that we need to take this seriously that we need to find ways to set ourselves up for success for the things that we want versus be our own worst enemy. I think it depends on what phase of your life you're in what season you're navigating with your children, that can dictate how hard you want to push yourself right? For me right now, my youngest turned to a month ago and I it's reminding me of when my son was about that age, I started to really feel like I finally was able to get some momentum and work toward things more seriously that that I wanted to do outside of parenting. And with that has come the mirage of Infinite Opportunities. It's a mirage, because so I'm from the desert. So mirages, and Oasis and Desert Sol, often are the symbols that come to mind. It's a mirage, because when you see a mirage, you kind of see the picture, right? It's a little blurry, but it appears to be something out there in the distance. And so you go toward it, right, so the mirage of waters, and you're really thirsty and you go toward it. I think as mothers, we have such limited free time, quote unquote free where we have a chance to carve out some time for ourselves, do something that we really want to do or pursue. And so when we see that, at least for myself, I know my natural inclination is to be like, Oh my gosh, like I can do so much now. Or I can do anything with this time, or, Oh, I have no plans for the next month. So that means that I'm going to be able to do that decluttering and sell everything I want to sell and reorganize my whole house. And before you know it, a month is gone. And weeks have passed and it didn't happen. For me. The reason why that is is because in addition to the you know, the rearranging and the decluttering, and all the things that I had thought about for that project, I also thought the same thing for the same chunk of time, with three other different projects that sounded just as appealing. And as each day progresses, just like you walking toward a mirage, the image of the all the full endless opportunities that I had imagined, are slowly starting to disappear. To be more concrete with what I'm talking about. I have shared through my substack and maybe on the podcast before that. I decided I wanted to pursue translations project there was a writer who I love and sounds like a fascinating person who I I've read some of her work that was translated in English, many, many years ago. And I was determined to find a way to translate her work either from French to English or Greek to English, I really wanted to try to do that. And I was committed at the time to do whatever I needed to do to see this idea through to work around my limited understanding of these other languages. I just, I felt determined to do it. And I saw a way. And I even thought to myself, well, if I started telling about people about it, I'm more likely to do it right. So I did that. And I had some mental blocks in my head for how to make it happen, because I didn't know if I'd be able to get the rights to even translate this work. And so I reached out to a lawyer that I knew for a referral, and they shared with me somebody that I could talk to, to see if they could figure out how to retain the rights for this writers work. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find the original copies of these these works since they've been out of print for so long. So I found some international bookstores and ordered the books online and got them shipped to me and started reading through them. So I did all of that work. And I had not yet even started to try to translate any of her writing. Essentially, I put the cart in front of the horse, right. And it's only been a few months since this idea started to bubble in manifest. But I really haven't done very much writing at all toward that project, even though I gave it so much mental energy. Fast forward, maybe like a month, a month and a half or so after that idea first came to mind, I would share my second big writing projects that struck me and this one came. After I sat down one day and read through one of my old journal smile diaries, I used to write daily diary or almost daily diary when I was in high school. And up until now, so maybe 18 years later, I finally sat down and had the courage or the time to, to read through these old entries, I read through a lot of them without skipping and it, it really inspired me to think about writing something more autobiographical. And around that time, I noticed that a writer who I really respect, who does a lot of coaching for writers was offering a six week workshop on autofiction. And autofiction had popped up a lot for me recently, and I felt called to do it. And so I did it. And early into those six weeks, we had to pick a book idea and commit to it. And so I did and it has been an idea that felt so perfect felt so aligned felt like something that I needed to do, it felt like all these little things are pointing me toward writing this book, I have the ideas for the difference. stories I want to write within this book, I have even an outline that breaks up this book into three parts. I know where I want it to go, I started writing a little bit of it. And I ended recently that six week workshop feeling like I knew what I needed to do. And then I had a night where I couldn't sleep, I tossed in turns for hours that felt like and was just not settling. And like a lot of brilliant story ideas. Something popped into my head. And it was so loud, that I couldn't just allow myself to go to sleep. I did have that thought in my head like, well, you know, this is pretty, this is a pretty strong idea. I'm going to remember it. And then I like had the little conversation with myself in my head that said, No, you're not going to remember stop, pull out your phone and write it down. And so I did that. And ever since that story has been so consuming, it's been in my thoughts, I can see it playing out in a way that I have not been able to with the other two story ideas. And what's interesting about this one is it's entirely fiction, and a story that I don't think I've ever written anything like this, but fully feel capable of doing. So those are my three ideas. And I mean, I could go on and on and on and talk about all the different ideas that are always on the backburner. But I'm concentrating on these three because these are the three that are the most recent, and have felt the most compelling. Like oh, I want to do these right now, to give a little bit more context. As you can see, all of these ideas are book ideas and I'd say for the last six months or more, I have felt ready to start pushing myself to pursue the work it takes to write and complete and finish a book length project. So as I've identified, the problem isn't that I don't have ideas, right? The problem isn't that I don't know what to write about. The problem is, is that I have too many options for what I could write about. And that I have allowed so much time for free thinking, to have a book idea, say, I'm gonna do that book idea. And then leave so much space in between the genesis of that idea to invite another equally alluring book idea into the fold. This is where I see self sabotage coming in. This is where I feel like I'm experiencing it myself in real time. But what is a little challenging about that? Is, I don't know if the answer is to commit to the first idea that I had that I said I wanted to pursue, I could make the arguments if I was debating somebody, that each of those story ideas needed to happen for me to arrive at my most recent one, I could be really convincing, I could make a really convincing argument for any of these three options. And what to that, I would say. So what making an argument convincing myself to do something isn't the same as actually doing it. And just because it's a good idea, or the right idea, doesn't mean it's good for right now. I've been working a lot personally on strengthening my self trust and my intuition and my inner compass. Right. And so the question I'm having to navigate and ask myself is, how can I honor my story, and trust that story, the part of me that wants to tell it, if every time I get a new idea, I abandon it. I know that just got really deep, but it's, it's the truth, it's, it's part of our relationship with ourselves in the writing process is having to listen to the stories that we want to tell. And seeing those through. That doesn't happen every time in the creative process, right? Sometimes we sit down, we go to write a story and something else unfolds. But if we do not step up to that, that plates and allow the story to come out that voice to be heard. What we end up doing, when we get distracted by the shiny new object, the shiny new idea is, is abandoning ourselves abandoning the story that that wanted to sit down and fall onto the page. So I want to make it clear, I don't have the perfect set of, of procedures or recommendations for you to guarantee that this is going to be done. Obviously, it's something that I'm navigating right now in real time. That said, a lot of times, it's a lot easier to give advice to others than to apply it to ourselves. Everything that I'm going to share with you next is the same advice that I know will help me if I can apply it. And I listened back to these episodes. And a lot of times I feel very separated from the voice I'm hearing. So hopefully, they think this time, right. And as I wrote it down, as I wrote down these tips that I'm going to share with you, I thought about myself, I thought, What do I need to do to help me commit to what I want to do, which is complete a full length book project and the next year, and what is most realistically going to get me there. This is what I came up with.
Here first are some questions that I want you to consider. Whenever you're faced with multiple ideas that are competing for attention. You can journal each of these questions or you can focus on the one that's standing out to you the most.
But here are for the first one. Which story am I'm most scared to tell?
This was the advice that was given by Megan February who is the person i i took the autofiction writing workshop from She actually gave this advice when I had her teach an outlining workshop to some some people in my workshop. And that was the question that she posed. What story am I most scared to tell? And I remember at the time being like, Oh, no way, like whatever story I write there as my answer is not going to be the one I write about, but But in the like now year plus, since she hosted that workshop, I've sat with it and I thought about it. And I do really feel like it's a great litmus test for what we need to write. In a previous episode, the one with Megan Voss, Megan talks about the distinction between publishing and writing. And so when I asked you what is the story, I'm most scared to tell, really what I should be saying is, what is the story I'm most scared to write. So this is asking that you remove any expectation of publishing. When you consider that question. I believe that whenever we confront and want to tell a story, storytelling should require that we do not think about it in the public sphere, when we first approach it. I think storytelling is always a relationship between ourselves and our future selves. First and foremost, we are our first audience. And we should approach our storytelling that way, in the pursuit of publishing later, if we so choose, then we can start thinking about what I want to filter and cut so that this feels safe for the general public. So that's the first question.
The second question you can consider is, what story is consuming me right now?
So that's the story that is on your mind all the time that you're thinking about and nights that you lay in bed, and you're thinking about that you're jotting down all these ideas around the one that either is consuming me right now, or that keeps coming back to you one that maybe has sat with you for years that keeps popping back up and won't go away? I think those both could be considered similarly consuming. So for me, that would be the last story idea that I shared the one that I said that I that popped into my head at the middle of the night, and that for the past few days, I can see so clearly that's like on my mind very vividly and is taking precedence over any other idea that I had before.
The third question, how can I honor my multiple ideas and still focus on one right now?
So this is an important question, because even though like to give the third story idea, as an example, even though I have a story idea right now, that is consuming me, I still don't know if that's the one that I should or want to really write right now. But I don't want to abandon it. And I don't want to abandon that part of myself that really wants to tell that story. So how can I approach all of these ideas, honor them in a way, but still focus my attention on one, so that I'm not self sabotaging? I'm leaving these questions open ended, I don't think every one of us should, or would have the same answer. And so it wouldn't really do you any favors for me to fully share what I come up with, even if I knew, because I do think that the process is going to look different for each of us.
The last question I want you to consider is, which idea do I have the clearest vision of where it's going? Once again, this doesn't necessarily mean this is the story that you're going to focus on. But it's good to think about which one you really feel like you know, because there might be one story idea that you feel really excited to write. But when you actually sit down to do it, you're like, I don't really know what else to say. And you stop and you get stuck and discouraged. And you end up inevitably abandoning all of your ideas and the process. All because you started with the one that was the most exciting, but not the one that you had a vision for where it was going.
So once you've allowed yourself to sit with each or some of these questions, I have some tips or advice for what I think would work well to do next.
So the first tip, this is especially for somebody who is already like an active journaler or actively has time that they dedicate to writing, I would recommend in the span of a week or two weeks. Just set aside your journaling time for each of your story ideas. Maybe you first want to just sit down and make a list and pick your you know, favorite ideas. If you have like 20 that you're kind of working with pick two or three. Or if you like me have like two or three already in mind. Just sit down and write them like sit down and write about that story. On separate days. So say you already write every other day. One day this of that week you would write about story idea one. The next day that you write you can write about story, idea two and so forth. And then when you're done With each writing session do like a little mental assessment or even write down underneath that, how it felt to write how it felt to sit and write on this story, idea. And just gauge like the energy that you put into it. Through the process, if you're really connected to your body and just feel really like symbiotic with that, it can be really helpful to just like, assess how you're feeling afterwards, do you feel really tense or stressed? Are you really emotional? Or do you feel like some lightness or excitement after your writing session, all of those things are information.
If you want to be more focused or strategic with the writing, and not spend, kind of some brainstorming, journaling time or just limited with your time. This is another recommendation that I'm modifying from something that Megan February shared with us and had us do in her workshop, I'm not going to go into full details, because I want to protect her work products. But what I want to recommend that you do with your story ideas is to just sit down and write like a short summary, like a book synopsis, if you will, of each of these story ideas that you have in mind. So like a paragraph that most just describing the story. And then after you've written those, read them aloud. When in doubt, I always think that reading your work out loud is so informative, because it really does help you feel the rhythm and the voice of the story in a way that you just don't when you read it silently to yourself on the page. This is probably a good time to add an aside doubt that when I do say write on the page, I'm including screens to that and computer screens, phone screens, whatever it is that you need to write down your story. I just like saying page better. But I just wanted to clarify that in case, you think that I'm suggesting that you write a whole book or a novel by hand, I'm not. And I do not do that. Although there may this is probably going to be an episode for another day. But there is something to be said about making time to write by hand. That has a lot of benefits that have been scientifically proven, but I won't get into that now. So back to the tips.
After you read the three different summaries of your book ideas aloud, choose the one that felt the most exciting for you to read out loud. If you need like a day or so to think about it or you need to try reading it out loud a few times. If you want to try reading it out loud to somebody that you trust a friend or a loved one, you can do that as well and see what they think. But I really do think that the decision needs to come from you. And that's something that Megan had us do and I feel is a really important distinction.
My next tip is to make sure that once you've chosen a story idea that you want to see through and you're going to commit to make sure that you also set aside your other ideas somewhere that you know, you can find and return to them. So if you have all of your writing on Google Drive, for example, make a folder that says like future writing ideas. Or if you have a journal, make sure you like note it or have a bookmark or a post it there that you can label. So that you know and you're telling yourself in present time I, I will come back to the story idea. Trust me, I cannot tell you how many precious hours of writing time I have lost to the search for writing that I knew I did, but didn't know where I say that. So learn from me. And make sure that after spending some time with these ideas, that you still honor the other ideas that you're setting aside in a way by putting them somewhere that they belong and that you'll be able to find later.
My last piece of advice touches on accountability because I know myself, and I know a lot of writers are similar. Just because we've committed to writing about a certain story doesn't mean that we're actually going to feel that responsibility or pressure because nobody knows that we have set this this goal, right. That's a muscle we have to build. That's why I love writing communities and I will plug our writers club because whether you attend every zoom once a week or not, you know that you have committed to your writing you know that there's a group of other writers who if you were to ask them for tips, or for an accountability buddy or somebody to give you some feedback when you need it. You always have a place to go for that. And that is essential for writing community, I guess this is a tip within a tip is to find a writing community. And make sure you tell them what you've committed to. And part two of this last tip is to set two deadlines for this story, a start date, and an end date. And what I mean by an end date is if I have not started and gotten into writing this story, I need to reassess. If this is something that you put into, like your Google Calendar, you want to make sure you set a reminder, midway through that deadline, if you have a physical calendar or planner, figure out like halfway through and mark that as well. But I like there to be a midway reminder too, because if we just kind of get behind, don't think about the story haven't been doing any writing. And forget about it. Once we see the end dates, we're just gonna be like, Oh, I didn't finish it. Oops, I feel bad. And that's it. At least with a midway reminder, some we get a nudge, we give ourselves a nudge to try to dive back in.
The last thing I'll say before I end today's episode is just because you commit to a story ideas, you know, if you remember this summary that I said that you should write about it. Just because you commit to that idea doesn't mean that the end product is going to look like what you thought that idea was going to be. But I do want you to try your hardest to see that the heart of that original idea through and finish it. If you feel like me, like you really want to commit to a book idea and see it through finish it just to see if you have it in you. Please don't change midway through, see it to the end, however awful or horrible it is just so that you know that you can do it. And I promise if you let me know that you completed it after you know forcing yourself to do it. I will celebrate with you, I will be so happy for you. It is a big deal. And every time I hear somebody else who has done this, I feel motivated and pushed to do the same. So please share your wins with me. I will continue to try to do that with you all as well. And also share the struggles along the way. That's what this podcast is all about.
I hope you found these tips and reflection questions helpful and motivating. I hope that they put you in the direction toward the story that you are meant to tell right now. And for this week's writing prompt, I'm going to just restate one of those questions to consider. Since this episode is all about competing ideas. Your writing prompt is how can I honor my multiple ideas and still focus on one right now?