The Tao of Homeschooling and Leading a Creative Life
BY MONA RAY
Photo Courtesy: Mona Ray
Before I became a mama bear, I was working up to three jobs most of the time. Why not? I was young, I had the energy. It took nothing out of me to wake up, get a workout in, be a sushi chef from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., change clothes, serve tables at the K-BBQ restaurant from 5:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., change again, and serve drinks at the karaoke bar ‘til 3:00 a.m. I feel like I’m holding my breath just recalling that lifestyle. Now that I have kids, my schedule is roughly similar — just replaced with different activities. I’m still just as busy it seems.
My husband and I homeschool from 10:30 a.m. to about 3:00 p.m., and while my oldest is doing her online school, I’m working at the same time. My daughter is also in martial arts and we try to maintain a healthy social life for her with her friends. Whether I’m painting a denim jacket, coming up with a new digital design, outlining my next novel or trying to market and sell my latest one — when you work for yourself, you work 24/7. I can’t complain. This is what I wanted back when I was working those three jobs. I’ve always been in love with the arts, with storytelling. I wear many hats and my hands are dipped in different jars daily — homeschool being the same size jar as the others. I, through consistency and determination, have managed to create various streams of income in the mediums I pour myself into while at the same time nurturing a safe, educational space for my kids. It wasn’t always this flowing — in fact it took a long time to get to where I am today, almost ten years, and I've been a mom for seven of those years.
One of the main questions people ask me when they learn I homeschool and work from home full-time is: “Why not just put her in public school so you can work during those hours? You’d be less busy. You’d be less stressed.” – First of all, I’m not stressed *eye twitches* I’m busy. There’s a difference! I have always been this way. I’m going to work whether I’m happy, sad, angry, or emotional . . . I will work. I simply love producing. I love being in charge of my own schedule, managing my time, and spending as much time with my kids as possible.
Being a homeschool mommy has always been a goal of mine, just like having writing as a job was, just like becoming an artist was . . . Why? Because I kinda always dreamed of being homeschooled. I know that sounds silly, but I look back on my childhood and recall nothing but an upbringing of getting bullied, constant social and culture shocks due to being a military child, and a disconnect from my parents that probably would have saved me from more trauma as a young adult. I was always just trying to find myself in all those environments: Thus bringing me to the “home” I have in art to this day.
Art was, and is, home. And my children live here too. I feel the most grounded when I create. It was something that, as a kid, I could use in every city our family would inevitably move to every other year, no matter the environment that surrounded me. I could express myself through art when I had no one to talk to. I am neurodivergent. The way public school was set up for us 90s kids was not as diverse, open-minded, or new age with teaching styles. Ultimately, I sincerely wish I could have bonded with my parents during those years, spent more time learning at my own pace, and exercising my gifts rather than suppressing them.
Time is fleeting.
So, yeah, now we’re here . . . with our own kids and our own adult lives, making the changes and being the people we needed growing up.
MONA RAY is a Filipino-American professional dancer, artist, and new writer. She has been working as a creative/visual director for over 10 years—from set design, to professional photography, she moves to tell stories centered around diversity and self-expression through various artistic mediums. She enjoys comedy, gaming, cooking, gardening and hanging out with her husband and children. They live the RV life, homeschooling and traveling across the country full-time.